Chinese idioms from the Dao De Jing
以德报怨 (yǐ dé bào yuàn)
Reworked from chapter 63
以德报怨 (yǐ dé bào yuàn), “repay resentment with virtue”, turns around 报怨以德 in chapter 63 of the Dao De Jing; the four-character form is in the Analects, where Confucius questions it.
Character by character
| 以 | yǐ | by means of, with |
|---|---|---|
| 德 | dé | virtue |
| 报 | bào | to repay |
| 怨 | yuàn | resentment |
| 以德报怨 | To answer a wrong or a grudge with kindness instead of revenge. | |
Where it comes from
The idiom is not in the text as such: it reworks the line 报怨以德.
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大小多少，报怨以德。
Treat the small as great and the few as many; repay resentment with virtue.
How the meaning moved
Chapter 63 has the words in another order, 报怨以德: “Treat the small as great and the few as many; repay resentment with virtue.” The line sits among the chapter's sayings on dealing with things early: “Plan the difficult while it is easy; do the great while it is small.” Resentment, too, is best met before it grows. Chapter 79 makes the same point from the other side: “When a great grievance is settled, some grievance always remains.”
The four characters in the idiom's order are in the Analects, 14.34 (14.36 in other numberings). Someone asks Confucius: “What of repaying resentment with virtue?” (以德报怨，何如？) He answers: “Then with what would you repay virtue? Repay resentment with uprightness, and repay virtue with virtue.” So the idea is the Laozi's, the wording is the one put to Confucius, and Confucius did not agree with it. The two answers have been weighed against each other ever since.
Today 以德报怨 is praise for someone who helps a person who once wronged them. It keeps a trace of Confucius's doubt: people also say it should not mean giving up on right and wrong.
Using it today
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对方曾经伤害过他，他却以德报怨，在对方困难时伸出了援手。
duì fāng céng jīng shāng hài guo tā, tā què yǐ dé bào yuàn, zài duì fāng kùn nán shí shēn chū le yuán shǒu.
The other man had once hurt him, yet he repaid the wrong with kindness and helped him when he was in trouble.
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以德报怨固然可贵，但也要分清是非。
yǐ dé bào yuàn gù rán kě guì, dàn yě yào fēn qīng shì fēi.
Repaying resentment with kindness is admirable, but you still have to tell right from wrong.