Chinese idioms from the Dao De Jing
委曲求全 (wěi qū qiú quán)
Reworked from chapter 22
委曲求全 (wěi qū qiú quán), “bend in order to stay whole”, reworks chapter 22 of the Dao De Jing, “The bent is made whole”; today it means to give way, even swallow a wrong, to keep things intact.
Character by character
| 委 | wěi | to bend oneself, to give way |
|---|---|---|
| 曲 | qū | bent, crooked |
| 求 | qiú | to seek |
| 全 | quán | whole, intact |
| 委曲求全 | To give way and put up with wrongs in order to keep the peace or save what matters. | |
Where it comes from
The idiom is not in the text as such: it reworks the line 曲则全.
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曲则全，枉则直，
The bent is made whole, the crooked is straightened,
How the meaning moved
Chapter 22 opens with a run of reversals: “The bent is made whole, the crooked is straightened, the hole is filled, the worn-out is renewed”. The Chinese of the first is 曲则全, three characters: bent, then whole. The sage lives by it: he does not show himself, affirm himself or boast, and “He does not contend, therefore the world cannot contend with him.” The chapter ends by calling the first line an old saying: “The ancient saying ‘The bent is made whole’, how can it be regarded as empty talk?”
委曲求全 is not in the book. It keeps 曲 and 全 and turns the saying into a course of action: 委曲, to bend oneself, and 求全, to seek to stay whole. Dictionaries trace it to this chapter, and give examples from the Song dynasty onward. The sense has darkened on the way. In the chapter, bending is the natural way to stay whole, like a tree that bends in the wind. In the idiom, bending usually means swallowing one's pride or putting up with being wronged, for the sake of a family, a team or a larger aim, and it can be said with sympathy or with reproach.
Using it today
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为了孩子，她在婚姻里委曲求全了很多年。
wèi le hái zi, tā zài hūn yīn lǐ wěi qū qiú quán le hěn duō nián.
For the children's sake she gave way and put up with a great deal in her marriage for many years.
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谈判要讲原则，一味委曲求全只会让对方得寸进尺。
tán pàn yào jiǎng yuán zé, yī wèi wěi qū qiú quán zhǐ huì ràng duì fāng dé cùn jìn chǐ.
Negotiation needs principles: always giving way to keep the peace only makes the other side ask for more.