Chinese idioms from the Dao De Jing
将欲取之，必先予之 (jiāng yù qǔ zhī, bì xiān yǔ zhī)
Reworked from chapter 36
将欲取之，必先予之 (jiāng yù qǔ zhī, bì xiān yǔ zhī), “to take something, first give it”, reworks a line of chapter 36 of the Dao De Jing and means giving a little now to gain more later.
Character by character
| 将 | jiāng | about to; to intend |
|---|---|---|
| 欲 | yù | desire, to desire |
| 取 | qǔ | to take, to seize |
| 之 | zhī | it, them (object) |
| 必 | bì | surely, inevitably |
| 先 | xiān | before, ahead |
| 予 | yǔ | to give, to grant |
| 之 | zhī | it, them (object) |
| 将欲取之，必先予之 | To get something, first give something: a concession now for a greater gain later. | |
Where it comes from
The idiom is not in the text as such: it reworks the line 将欲夺之，必固与之.
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将欲歙之，必固张之；
What is to be shrunk must first be stretched;
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将欲弱之，必固强之；
what is to be weakened must first be strengthened;
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将欲废之，必固兴之；
what is to be cast down must first be raised up;
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将欲夺之，必固与之，
what is to be taken must first be given.
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是谓微明。
This is called subtle insight.
How the meaning moved
The saying in this form is not in our text of the Dao De Jing. Chapter 36 has four lines of one pattern, the last of them “what is to be taken must first be given.” (将欲夺之，必固与之). The received text says 夺, “to take away”, and 固, which here means “first”. The common saying has 取, “to take”, and 先, “first”, and writes 予 for “to give”, a character with the same sound and, here, the same meaning as 与. Some dictionaries write it 将欲取之，必先与之.
The wording with 取 is old. Han Feizi, in the chapter 喻老 that explains the Laozi with stories, quotes “将欲取之，必固与之” after two examples: Duke Xian of Jin sent jade and horses to the state of Yu before attacking it, and Zhi Bo sent a great carriage to Chouyou before invading it. In another chapter, 说林上, he gives the same advice as a quotation from a book called the Zhou Shu (周书): 将欲败之，必姑辅之；将欲取之，必姑予之.
In chapter 36 the four lines describe how things turn: what is stretched shrinks, what is raised is cast down. The chapter calls this “subtle insight” and concludes: “The soft and weak overcome the hard and strong.” Read as Han Feizi read it, the lines become a ruse, and that is the modern sense: give a little now to gain more later, said of business, negotiation and politics, sometimes with a hint of calculation.
Using it today
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将欲取之，必先予之，这家店先送试用装，顾客用得满意自然就来买了。
jiāng yù qǔ zhī, bì xiān yǔ zhī, zhè jiā diàn xiān sòng shì yòng zhuāng, gù kè yòng de mǎn yì zì rán jiù lái mǎi le.
To take, first give: this shop hands out free samples first, and customers who like them come back to buy.
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谈判时他深知将欲取之，必先予之，先在小问题上让了步。
tán pàn shí tā shēn zhī jiāng yù qǔ zhī, bì xiān yǔ zhī, xiān zài xiǎo wèn tí shàng ràng le bù.
In the negotiation he knew that to get something you must first give something, so he gave way on the small points first.